Once, a comedian told a hilarious story on how he left a rental car at the airport and got away with it. But it worked for him only because no one else does it. The same principle can apply for touching and holding an exhibit item in the museum (which is a part of the diverse learning lifestyle). If a storyteller would crash the car at the gates of the airport and left it on the runway, the story would probably be a lot funnier. But he wouldn’t come out as a winner in that situation. Neither would you. So if you’re adventurous enough to touch or even hold a forbidden object, you might want to consider the following rule set.
Decide whether you want to come back to this place
Of course, if the building is 5 minutes away from your house, and you’re a regular visitor of the exposition that you prefer to go to every once in a while - you don’t want to mess up the relationship with security, nor with a head of the museum. But that is not the case if you’re in the same kind of institution but it a different city. In this scenario, you don’t have much or anything to lose. That is one of the key criteria that should influence your decision to break the rule.
Examine the place
Of all the pictures you will take with your camera, the one that has captured a fire escape plan will be the most useful. Right after you’ve studied the map good enough to know where the nearest fire exit is, and you’ve seen every single exhibit item, you’re ready to go.
1. If touching an exhibit item is not enough for you - look around, and find a bench where you can take a seat with your precious!.. Security will pay a lot more attention to those who stand next to showpiece, than to those who are having a rest away from it.
2. Proceed only if visitors face you with their backs. If they stand beside you – the disposition is not good enough.
If you’ve been exposed
Protocol A: get out
If you see a security guard who doesn’t look to be in the hurry but still moves in your direction– s/he is most likely after you. Make sure not to break the item as you put it down. You already know where’s the exit is. Speed up only if it’s necessary. If you run right away, you will not only blow your cover but also will make a dream of a security to chase the intruder come true.
Protocol B: joke your way out of it
You are not committing a crime. That’s why if you make security smile or even laugh, you’ll be very lucky to make them lenient as well.
Neil deGrasse Tyson once said, “If you find yourself in the spaceship of aliens – take something from their laboratory!”.
This phrase can serve you as inspiration for the following legend.
Keep explaining to the guards that you were practicing for an “alien kidnap scenario”. Tell them that it is within their interest to let you go. Otherwise, you won’t share a piece of the extraterrestrial object with this museum if they don’t let you go. Rambling things like that can make them smile only if you are loud and persuasive. Make sure that visitors can hear you as well. Their laughter will make it easier to crack up the security. And most importantly – consider that it is not a big deal after all.
Protocol C: ask to speak to a head of a museum
Most likely, the big cheese won’t be in the building. But if he will, it won’t be hard to explain the motivation behind your actions to him. Perhaps, he will share your sense of curiosity and you will get off the hook just with a warning.
Additional, but not less significant tips:
• most if not all of the exhibits will be fenced with glass
• don’t wear high-heals or smart shoes. These are not only too loud, but they’re also not the best option for running
• find all emergency exits and at least one open window (preferably in the bathroom)
• always have your ears prepared for informative sounds of walkie talkie
When it is a horrible idea to do it:
• when you are in a foreign country
• when there are almost no people around
• when the item lays under the glass that looks temptingly easy to open
• when it looks wide and heavy. The bigger the thing, the more unnecessary attention it will attract.
• when it’s somehow attached to the wall or the table. That way it can either fall and/or crumble. Partly or completely.
Aforesaid tips will certainly make you one step ahead of the potential threats. But keep in mind that you are the captain of your own ship. So depending on the circumstances – make the first move and take it from there. Feel free to ignore some of them if you can get away with it (or if it worth it).
Zack Hargrove is a professional editor who is always willing to assist anyone with writing help. His role in education is to keep your curiosity safe from boredom that is heavily imposed by educational system. You can find him on Twitter @zackhargrovejr.
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